So the night before the wedding I stocked up on the anti-snore herbs and oils to take with me to the hotel that Cray, Tung and I would be staying at. Now because of the severe flu that was taking over my body (chills and fevers) I knew the oils would be working overtime. According to poor Cray, they weren�t working hard enough! But it wasn�t all bad, apparently Tung snored his way through the night as well (although he didn�t shake the room with his snorts). This is exactly why I couldn�t be on Big Brother�I�d screw up the audio.

So we rose at 7.15 in the morning because we�d been told that the videographer would be turning up at 7.30 to get some casual footage of us playing pool and being larrikins. Come 8.00am there was still no sign of him. He�d forgotten and thought it was Sunday and not Saturday for the wedding. Silly man. So we all relaxed and watched cartoons and Rage until it was time to slap on the tails. The groom�s dad joined us at the hotel and then we were on our way.

I was nervous waiting for CCB to arrive at the church. It�s like I was getting married or something. Which would be, ew and incesty cause she is my sister. I think I meant that cause they�d been together for so long, with a few ups and downs, that I was nervous for them and I had a feeling that somehow I�d stuff it up by passing out or coughing or something. The videographer came up to us to get some fake casual banter and adjusting of the groom�s clothing shots before CCB got there. As greeting I uttered �Nice to see you turned up� and then grudgingly pretended to fix Cray�s buttonhole with a �I�m a wanker� look on my face. I thought CCB would enjoy that when she watched the video back.

She was late to the church as is tradition and we all stood around nervously while I trotted back and forth to the place where I�d stashed my box of tissues, throat lozenges and bottle of water out of sight but close enough so that I could grab them as soon as the ceremony was over. I managed to not cough or sneeze or drip during the vows and what have you but I didn�t cough towards the end of the �long pointless speech about stuff� that I didn�t really have a name for. I was hoping it didn�t stand out that much but as we watched the video compile the bastard videographer had zoomed in on me as I was coughing. I suppose it�s pay back for that comment I made. Pwwff.

I got a little teary as I saw her walk down the aisle, my big sis was getting married! Cray later told me that he was afraid he was going to pass out in the middle of the ceremony. If my brain had been functioning at the time I was going to quip back �Hey, I�d send it into Funniest Home Videos�. The weather was gorgeous which is kinda insane for June around here. Being by the sea we were expecting it to be really cold and very windy. It was very windy but the sun was shiny and it felt like summer. Of course I was wearing a three piece suit so I�d have to be warmer than the girls in their strapless dresses. We got some pictures done out at La Perouse and then it was onto the reception.

What I can remember from the reception is this: Yummy lollies scattered on the table, bright sun in my eyes, my name card saying Dude(ette) instead of my name, CCB & Cray being mushy, my nose bleeding and me making up some telegrams, namely one from Candace Cameron Bure saying that she and her husband wish CCB and Cray a happy day and in the future may they have a Full House. As much as you cringe�I can�t lay claim to that doozey, that was Mum�s work! Oh and I caught the bouquet too. That�ll give Elmo something to worry about, hehehe. I�ve always said that when I get married it�ll be Vegas. Why? You ask. Cause they have package deals and you don�t have to go through all the major stress of organising all the fiddly bits, plus they can broadcast it on the internet so all your friends can watch it they don�t want to fork out the dosh to come see it live (and you can hardly blame them!).

Can�t believe they�ve been married for over a week, where does the time go

Tyd

1 July 2002 - 3:13 pm

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