I Could Never Be A Smooth Criminal

I think the guilt would get to me. I find sometimes when I don�t realise that I�ve done something, or I figure it�s just a small trivial thing, that I�ll find it hard to sleep and I wake up in the morning with an ominous feeling in the pit of my stomach. It�s very yucky and I�ve got it right now. Plus I�d be the goofy stupid cronie of the main bloke who�s got the know how. I�d be like Hopper�s brother in A Bugs Life, the actor that plays Paul in Spin City. I�d be making hopeless suggestions and falling over things all the time and setting off alarms.

I found a wallet on the train last night. I considered giving it to the guard or the security dudes walking through the carriage but I had a feeling it may not return to the owner, it had a fair bit of cash in it. So kept it and by the time I got home (10pm) it was too late to start my investigating. It is the most interesting wallet that I�ve ever come across. Apart from the fact that the only identifying thing in it is a keycard it�s still quite interesting. It�s got a receipt from someone (not the same name as the keycard) transferring money to South America, two receipts for rent paid by someone called Paula (also differing from the keycard name), a phonecard and a card from a hairdressers in Pagewood. It�s all very mysterious. I�m feeling very Mrs Pollifax (think Jessica Fletcher but shorter, does karate and is in a book) about it all. I was thinking about it all last night before I went to bed thinking I�d call the bloke whose name was on the transfer of money and see if he knew the keycard person. If that failed I�d call the hairdressers ask them if they have a client named Paula and see if they could check if she knows the keycard person or I�d go to the bank, get them to call the keycard person and tell them I had the rest of their wallet.

It sounds so good in theory doesn�t it? Sounds perfectly plausible and perfectly able to be solved due to the subtle but findable clues in that wallet. I left the wallet at home. The mystery lives for another day! I�m feeling that weird squirmy feeling in my stomach though, I know that there is no reason too, it�s not like I stole it or anything.

You have the right to remain suspicious

Tyd

17 April 2002 - 2:22 pm

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