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I Love You Scotland, But... I am no longer going on my Glagsow pilgrimage. I am taking charge of myself. The following factors contributed to the decision for your perusal in order of importance: - Money I don�t want to sell my car, I�m not getting enough temp work right now, I wouldn�t have the money to survive in Glasgow. - My car It is a symbol of my independence. I bought it (outright, no loan) with money I had saved from my first job. It is very important to me as it shows me that I can accomplish things. I cannot sell it right now. - My career I currently am in transition. I want to try something else but I�m not entirely sure what that is. I think it would be best to discover that here than go flitting off to Europe and delaying the inevitable. And let's face it, I'm not going to become a millionaire movie star. - The theatre I am enjoying the people and the productions at the theatre so much. There are productions coming up later in the year and early next year that I would love to be a part of. People know who I am now and I�m starting to get a real feel for the sense of community the theatre has. - My grandfather At Mother�s Day lunch two weeks ago he said, �Don�t go to Scotland�. So simply and with no explanation of why he didn�t want me to go, he just said, �Don�t go�. I got the feeling that there was a specific reason why he didn�t want me to go but he won't tell me. I feel I owe it to him to stay. - My boyfriend Simply put, I love him. I�m not going to disappear off overseas when I�m in love with someone. I am a very tough nut to crack, I don�t like to admit deep feelings to people because I think that shows me as being weak, but I opened up to him. I have been more honest with him in the last month than anyone I�ve ever met. We had a good talk about it and he said he didn�t want me to make this decision based on him because I �might get bored by September� and that I might �live to regret the decision� and that I should go. If it doesn�t work out with him then I can always go to Glasgow some other time. Needless to say I think he�s rather happy that I am staying :oP The main reason I decided to go to Glasgow was to start a new chapter of my life. I was down in the dumps, I didn�t seem to have anything to look forward to or to build on. I have that now. In many different ways, but I do have that. If it all goes pear-shaped then I will go, but as for now, I just can�t. Wow, and I think that�s possibly the most serious and honest entry I�ve ever done here. I�m sure next week I�ll return to blabbing about novelty underpants and butt massages :o) Tyd 20 May 2005 - 3:33 pm Make your mark | 0 have left their mark [ back | front ]   |
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