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It�s Amazing The Lengths One Goes To For Avoidance If you read regularly you�ll know that I have a problem with a heck of a lot of things. People giving out pamphlets on the street and wanting to survey you are a particular favourite (or non favourite as it would be). I realised today as I walked through Grace Bros that I always seem to do the same thing when it comes to the perfume giving out people. I tend to sneeze or feel sick when I am around lots of really fragrant things. For instance if I walk past a LUSH store (soaps and smelly stuff) I have to walk really fast and I can�t be stopped or else I think I�m going to pass out from too much smelly stuff. This is particularly bad going past the QVB branch of the shop where there are huge crowds and I get my I�m-freaking-out-man-for-goodness-sake-get-out-of-the-way! look on my face. Because it�s downstairs there isn�t much ventilation and the smell can carry for at least three or four more shop lengths. It�s a shame because there is a shop selling silver jewellery next door and I�d love to go in and check it out but I can�t. So back to Grace Bros. I always sneeze when I�m approaching the sales ladies with strips of perfumed cardboard so they�ll think that there is the possibility I could sneeze on them if they hand me a strip and hence spread disease etcetera. Also it causes me to look at the ground and avoid their eye line so I don�t feel guilty about fobbing them off. Works every time! Of course they just may not want to give me a sample because I don�t fit in with the classiness of their fragrance. Another favourite of my pamphlet/survey people avoidances is to have a pained expression on my face as I�m walking past that gives the impression that if they interrupt me it will cause me to break down completely and kill myself and it will be all their fault. Of course that backfires when it�s a religious nut (you know the freaky ones that tell you the world will end on a certain date but to cheer up anyway) that wants to forcibly make you see the error of your ways and to instead join them in worshipping toasters that think (thanks to Joss and the gang as I steal that Buffy �Restless� reference). Actually I think it�s coffee makers that think but I don�t really have time to check it up now. Who is this ass you ask? Not a man among us knows (another Restless reference. What am I? Restless or something? Hahaha�oh dear I need some fresh air!) Tyd 28 August 2002 - 5:01 pm |
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