|
What A Load Of Shite That really interesting book I was reading about life in 1000 has just gone to new depths. So they talk about crops, monasteries, clothing, taxes, illness, but crap? Do they really have to devote three whole pages to the crapping practices of our ancestors? Me eyes tell me yes. �Open cesspits of human refuse�.*That�s an attractive phrase for you. I can just imagine the kids saying � Muuuum, Daaaad, little Timmy fell into the cesspit of human refuse again. �Every excrement had it�s own particular bouquet�* Well that�s a relief. So if you trod in something you could scream out �Cow/pig/horse/chicken shit!� instead of just the usual �Oh shit�. �If the late 20th century is scented with gasoline vapours and exhaust fumes then surely the year 1000 was perfumed with shit.�* I wonder if the Chanels and the Diors of that age used to market it like so. �Attract that sexy girl from the village with this new aftershave �Cow�. Or �He�ll be dying to roll you in the hay after he gets a whiff of �Horse�. All hand dried by the monks of Wincester, ground into powder and mixed with oils by virgins from the nearby villages and bottled by blind Vikings that lost their way on the latest raid. Plus they mentioned that the bowel movements were looser (just another way of saying � SLOPPY!) and that the crap wouldn�t smell as much if you ate more vegetables than meat. Sure explains why dog poo smells so much. I�m like totally becoming literary, dude! Tyd *The Year 1000 by Robert Lacey & Danny Danziger. 7 March 2002 - 9:57 am |
Tyd Links Missed These? Other Bloggers Title Banner Layout by Tyd |
