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Today's The Day The Hypochondriacs Have Their Picnic Contrary to popular belief I do not sit at my desk all day thinking about diseases I may or may not have. However today a thought occurred to me; I just may have scurvy. I�ve gone a little old school, don�t think it�s around much anymore. So I am basing my knowledge on the First Fleet and the convicts coming to Australia. 1. Convict? Check. I stole a packet of sauce once. Accidentally. And I was always the convict that stole a handkerchief when we played Rum Rebellion. 2. Extended period of time on a boat with no fresh vegetables and fruit consuming? Check. 16 hours going from Sweden to Finland. I consumed a lot of liquid on that boat, but the healthy stuff just didn�t happen. 3. Flaking of the skin? Check. I have dandruff. 4. Teeth falling out? Check. It was a while ago though, I think I still believed in the tooth fairy at the time. 5. Anemia/Weakness? Check. On the weekends I find it really hard to get out of bed. Also find it really hard to get the effort to do the washing up, take out the rubbish, do laundry and walk out to check the mail. 6. Emotional lability? Check. I have no idea what that means, but if it means bordering on insanity and crying at the drop of a hat, then that�s me. 7. Vomiting? Check. Although I did eat eight Kit Kats that day, but I�m sure that had nothing to do with it. So, scurvy. I know, I know, it�s just not the popular disease it once was. It�s just not getting enough positive press like glandular fever. Of course that could be because eventually your brainstem is crushed by your swollen brain as it pushes it�s way down onto your spinal column. Not to mention all the spontaneous breaking of bones, bleeding into the sack around your heart so it can�t pump and the coughing up of blood before the big brain crush. In fact, I�ve changed my mind. Give me glandular fever again, any day. Tyd 10 February 2004 - 1:45 pm Make your mark | 0 have left their mark [ back | front ]   |
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