I did a sulky �don�t touch me, excuse me while I storm out of the room� moment. I hate it when people do that. It�s just so pathetic and annoying because the other person is standing there thinking �What I do?� when it�s usually got nothing to do with them at all. And I hate that I did that. I also hate the fact that I don�t know why I did it.

Sometimes my brain is very stupid. It stores all this information that the rest of me is feeling and thinking, and then it doesn�t bloody well let me in on the action! So there I am storming off for absolutely no reason. Or so I assumed. I swear, it usually takes me at least 24 hours to figure out why I do these things. And the odd thing is, is that I don�t usually do these things, it only seems to be when I�m in a relationship with someone. It�s like this dormant chick gene gets activated and I start to act like all those annoying, pink-wearing, shallow, sappy bitches you see on TV or read about in books. Maybe it�s just cause I have such strong emotions swirling inside of me from all the love and happiness that it's looking for a balance. I don�t know.

I think I can put this one down to:

a) It was Sunday evening. I�m never good on a Sunday evening, I�m always too worried about the Monday morning meeting that is up to me to run and up to me to show what I�ve done during the previous week. Which is usually not a lot. So it�s my own damn fault really and I get really frustrated. I would much prefer we have our meetings on the Tuesday, or the Friday before. At least then it�s all still fresh in my head and I don�t spend the weekend unconsciously worrying about it.

b) I had an audition on Saturday and I haven�t heard back. Although this would seem too early to find out, I know that some of the blokes have been called (including Gorgeous) to be informed that they were successful. I suppose that effected my mood a bit cause now I�m worried that she called all the successful people yesterday and that all the unsuccessfuls will get calls during the week. I really, really, really want a part in this play. I auditioned for three different roles, surely I�ll get one of them?

c) My wisdom teeth are coming through and most of the time the left side of my face is aching constantly. Taking painkillers helps a little, but not a lot. So I�m walking around like a bear with a sore head most of the time. This is very unfortunate for anyone who is spending a lot of time with me.

I think I am also horribly afraid of turning into her. I wouldn�t wish that sort of pain upon him, I love him too much. I don�t want to do anything that will remind him of her, the evil nasty cow.

If by some freak chance our paths ever crossed one day I wouldn�t think twice about smacking her to the ground.

Tyd

15 August 2005 - 11:11 am

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